wed. march 25, 2009
mark met me and the roommates for dinner at firehouse subs. he seemed a little shy but was cool enough to talk with people he didn't know. then we all went back to the appt. where me and him [me mostly] decided to watch a movie, and we decided on superstar. 
*side note*
there are a lot of movies he hasn't seen and i plan on catching him up with like the lat few years of greatness. 

so anyway after the movie we went downstairs and chatted a bit with the roommies. then headed back upstairs because he was asking me about my tattoos and i was gonna show him my scetches, but then I COULD NOT SHUT THE HELL UP. omg i felt so dumb because i was just talking away and he was all quiet just listening. i tried to ask him a few things along the way but he was very suttle about it like "yes, no, not really, or i guess" but i ended up talking for like 40 min or something. and he had to go to work the next day so he told me that he needed to head out. so i walked him to his car, and doing so he said "wow you're gonna walk me to my car?" i said yeah i'm used to it. we said out goodbyes and hugged then he left...

thurs. march 26, 2009
now i feel bad cuz i don't really remember thursday :/  

fri. march 27, 2009
i came home after work and was greeted by a few of moe's friends. mind you i got home about 1020. so i go and change then mark comes and then desi and we are drinking and just all chillin. and then steven and mirna come home. and they seem kinda upset, they ask to talk to me and moe so we go talk to them and its mainly how moe should have asked to invite his friends because none of us knew who they were. so then moe felt bad and decided to take his friends to a party. and steven and mirna leave. and mark desi and me decide to watch kung foo panda in moe's room. so me and mark are on the couch and desi is on the bed. and at some point in the movie me and mark hold hands. now of course at this point i am freaking out! like omg rufs! ha ha. we chilled till about 3/4 in the morning with the mates and just yeah. so desi left and he was like "i should go too" and i didnt wanna seem creepy so i let him go. but before he did we hugged it out because i didnt wanna go outside cuz it was cold. and while he hugged it out we looked at each other and then hugged again then it happeded. he looked at me and then just went for it! he kissed me :] and i was soo happy. it went from a kiss to making out lol. "it was awesome" 

sat. march 28, 2009
the mates rented a few movies so mark and desi came over and the 3 of us decided to watch twilight in moe's room and we did. me and mark were on the bed this time and desi was on the couch. then moe decided he wanted to see it too. and being how desi is so mean she wouldnt sit up in the couch so he had to be with us in the bed [this is his bed just so you know] so we are watching the movie and me and mark are holding hands and kissing lol. it was cute! ha ha but i kinda felt bad. n*e*ways then we all watched a little tv and we were watching somethign about bowflex [damn info-mercials] and me and moe we talking about him working out and i asked mark, do you think i should bulk up or just slim out? and he replied with" why would you do that? dont do that i like you like you are" wow what a guy right! then desi decided to leave [by the way desi i am so sorry that you had to go through that] so then me and mark are in my room on the bed just chillin talking. and finally hes like "did you see this coming?" and of course i didn't and replied no. and we talked some more and then i asked him where he wanted this to go and he said
"where ever you want it to go"
me. "i know but im just scared of getting hurt"
mark. "yeah but we cant really controll that, because you can hurt me as well"
"thats true, i dont know..."
him. "so what do you think?"
"well i can honestly say that i do want us to be together."
mark. "me too. "
*we both smile*
then he said something about liking me for a while, and liking me a lot..... we made out for a bit then i fell asleep and woke up about 630 ish in the morning, and  we were still all hugged up on each other. and i stayed up for like 30/40 min. before i fell asleep again.

sun. march 29, 2009
then i woke up about 1030 and he was already up and said that he wanted to go home to wash clothes,  and i was like "lame" but i waled him out and we kissed again. of course. 
then i went with my mom to see my grandma [sorry gabb. :/] 
so when i got back mark came over. me him and moe watched nick and norahs infinite playlist. [love that movie btw] 
we were cuddled on the coutch all cute. then we watched garden state cuz i heart that movie. and we made out during it and stuff. he like both of the movies but had to leave cuz he had to work this morning :/ and i cant see him tonight cus he has to wake up at 4 tomorrow to go ad for tuesday. it sucks. 

so till tues, night lol :]

s lame but I would go to rain every thursday if I could... it was super packed and everyone was dancing! uhhh I love it

so last fm is officially the shit! I love it cuz it recommends stuff that I actually like! hence.... the honorary title

so these are the ideas from my sketch book.... soon to be tattoos!
just a quick updation of what i have been up to tonight :]
here we go...

( my book )

so its been a while you guys! as if that's not normal for me.... coming soon - all of this boys drama

i'm looking for "further down the spiral" from nine inch nails...
i have been looking for this album for a while it would be greatly appreciated!

even if it kills me
i really want this cd!
can you help me out...
none of the ones i have tried work?
so yeah :)
thanks in advanced!

this is for my sis...

yes LiLi i took this from you, it looked fun
btw we graduated! fuck h.s.! woo

1. i HATE that you pretend to be my friend even though we both know you dislike me as i do you...
2. i LOVE that you appreciate me for all that i am :)
3. i HATE that you left me there waiting for you, i dont want to wait, thats why i left*
4. i LOVE that you can always pretend everything is okay, even though i can hate it when you do.
5. i HATE that i can't be less flaming :..(
6. i LOVE that you are annoyed by me, it makes me feel like i'm getting back at you*
7. i HATE that you have to deal with some of the things that i do...
8. i LOVE that i am GAY!
9. i HATE that i am GAY!
10. i LOVE that you are leaving me and you don't care! [sarcasm is beautiful...]

can i cry now?
i dont want him^ to leave me, he can't, i wish i was over him...

so last night was sooo much fun!

the last day of school tomorrow!
FUCK YESS BITCH!
the end

so what the hell is going on!
why the hell are we falling apart this close to the end?!... it's no one's fault that we are split apart, it just happened that way... yes i said A COMMENT and that's all nothing more! i'm sorry and i hope you understand that little detail. and this drama that ya'll are having amongst yourselfs with three people. don't drag us into that we have nothing to do with it at all!
the seniors CLASS OF 007 are falling apart...we can't it shouldn't  be alowed!
o well.......

that makes this sad!

so today eric talked to me alot...
even though it wasnt interesting, it was great!
the i invited him to go eat with me and my parents, 
and for some reason or another jasmin couldn't come 
[yes she was invited, by me.. we are cool]
but yeah it was nice, we just semi talked about
"THE NOTE" he said and i quote, 
"it was kinda a lot of stuff out of no where"
and so on. we talked it out he is cool with it
[of course] why wouldnt he be? 
-
he said that he is going to U.T.D. 
which by the way i am not to happy about,
but i'm not that sad about it, could this be me 
getting over the only love i've ever known?
o well we will know in due time...
he says that he wants to stay here in austin but 
he has a full scholarship to Dallas, and 
i think that i am gonna encourage him to go, 
ya know do what  is best for the both of us
this way he is happy and that makes me happy...
this is also beneficial on my part because that 
MAY mean that he will want to hang out with me 
more often since he will not see me as often.
-
did i tell ya'll that chris and i are cool now?
yeah all of a sudden he had this revelation 
that he is ready to have friends again, so i guess
that i was a luckey one choosen to be in his
circle of friendship, along with newly added
david tamez?! yeah thats what i said too.
i have no idea where that came from?
- 
is it really that wrong for me to want a boyfriend 
at this point in my life? i mean come on 
what the hell is going on, all of the other guys 
have either had, or currently have a girlfriend
or are in a relationship! is there something 
wrong with me? please tell me what it is,
am i really annoying like topher said?
[no i will never forget that] what is it?
i have never ever been in a relationship 
[with a boy{sorry katie}].. i need to have
this experience sometime, i mean wow
i'm not a virgin but, i havent been in a 
relationship, what the hell is that about?!
he didn't even love/like me. just saying 
that makes me feel whore-ish!
-
so i am getting a job with the place i
work at now: Sandalwood Management.
and its great because i like working there!
with my first pay check i am getting T-Mobile.
-
that is all for today
"goodnight and goodluck"
-your lover 

so like i did it!
i gave the note to eric...
he said "its confusing"  WTF
o well i guess i will give him time....

love...

...yeah right!
if this were only true!

the Brand New concert at stubbs B-B-Q was awesome!
i do not know half of the sngs that Brand New has but let me tell you that was probly the 2nd best concert i have ever been to...
i have never been so sweaty in my life [litraly from head to toe] and i could bearly talk afterwards, IT WAS AWESOME!


so i have changed my mind... i am staying in austin and i will be attending ACC and St. Edwards, i'm cool with it...


so last night i had the best dream of my career!
it started off with me and Eric in a parking lot. we were talking about something [i don't remember].  
Then in an instant, he says 
"i can't do this" then i ask
"can't do what" he says
"i love you Adan" 
then all of a sudden, we start to make out [who would have guessed...]
and he pushes me up onto a red van and then we [i don't remember if it was me or him]
open the door and lay down on the floor o fthe van while there were people inside who were staring at us. of course i wasn't gonna stop because i mean c'mon this is what i have always wanted!
then he reapeats
"i love you"
we kiss once more, then we stop and i walk away [not in a bad sence]
then i arrive at school in the middle of the hall way, 
and in front of me through the wide open doors i see Mr. Barwick getting off of his black moped 
he is wearing a black helment, kahki pants a green shirt and a yellow tie. 
i walk up to him and atempt to give him a hug, he says 
"wait you can't hug me i'm a teacher" i say
"yeah but you are no longer my teacher"
the we hug and i is one of the best hug that i have ever recieved.
then he is like 
"well arn't you in a good mood" and i say
"yeah, today had ust been the best day ever!"
he of course asks me how, i reply by telling him that it has finnaly happened,
me and eric have finaly hooked up.
"wow that's wonderful" he says "so what else is new?"
then we are talking for a little while... then i wake up 

DAMN!